I remember in middle school and high school being confused. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend when everyone else was. I asked a guy or two out, was immediately rejected, but never felt bad about it (relief actually) because it meant I wouldn't have to do things that others were doing and/or talking about doing. In high school I distinctly remember wanting to ask a guy friend out because he was extremely catholic and it meant we could date, but there would be no sex, kissing, etc. Before I got the chance he started dating a girl in a club he went to.
In college everyone was having sex, talking about sex, talking about how they would "do" that person and I joked along, but I never have thought to myself that *this* person turned me on or made me desire to have an intimate relationship of any kind with them. If anything, I simply appreciated the beauty of the male body more than the female body and found it more appealing.
I never worried, though, since I had to study, and didn't have much free time. I was content spending time with my friends and family. It was only after college and getting a full time job (with free time) that I started to wonder about myself. I wanted to get a boyfriend and/or eventually a husband, and would never let sex come into the equation. If it were brought up I would inwardly cringe away from the thought of it and let out a...yeah...I guess I'll have to do that then.
Dating sites are horrible. I would almost instantly have to reject people because they would start with the topic of sex, didn't want to start out as friends, or list sex as one of their top priorities.
A month or so ago a friend of mine was explaining to another one of her friends that I wasn't a lesbian, and was attracted to men. That friend seemed slightly confused and stated that they thought I was probably just asexual. I stated that I was straight and so I couldn't be asexual.
Then, earlier this week I stumbled upon the Huffington Post series on Asexuals and Asexuality. After reading the first article and the third it hit home. This. This is what I am. I didn't feel relief so much as I felt like something clicked in my mind. I suddenly had that firm patch of ground to stand on instead of the muck and sludge I had been wading through.
And now, here I am: 27, feeling much more complete, and thinking that I may eventually be to connect with others that feel the same. Maybe...I will eventually be able to find a like minded person to eventually spend my life with. Now I know it is a possibility.